


Eyes Wide Open

by InsominiacArrest



Category: She-Ra - All Media Types, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, Growing Up Together, Kissing, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-24 17:40:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16644794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsominiacArrest/pseuds/InsominiacArrest
Summary: A history of Catra and Adora at bedtimeFrom the first time to the last time.





	Eyes Wide Open

It was worse than she first thought.

  
She didn’t know what she expected when they wandered the endless halls of metal with green lights that flickered lifelessly. It was stiller than the streets of the Fright Zone, more sterile, no one was badgering her for a job done or yelling at her to stop sleeping on their stoop.

The halls had some unseen organization, all the same box shape with sliding metal doors and stiff people passing that didn’t look her in the face. They somehow didn’t get lost in all the twists and turns of the uniform passageways. Catra was almost dizzy by the time they take yet another turn and she’s led into a long mute room.

The yellow lights flashed on one by one, she didn’t expect the lines of flatbeds, rows and rows of identical metal bunks with windowless walls and a set of pressed sheets and a pillow. It smelled like muggy sweat and something coppery that coated her mouth, she blinked blankly at it.

It was different from the medical bay, less beeping bots and flashing fluorescent lights.

“Here,” the tall woman in a red clock stopped and gestured around the room, she had a blank mask and hair that swirled around her like a feral animal. Something in Catra kept telling her to run as fast as she can the other direction, but where would she go?

She frowned slightly, trying to keep herself small and muscles tensed.

“This bunk will be yours,” the woman pointed to the top bunk of a bed at the very end, it looked just like the others and Catra opened her mouth and then closed it. The shadow lady forcefully ushered her to it, Catra kept her eyes focused on her slithering hair- making sure it didn’t reach for her.

“You can see it’s already been made for you,” The woman said in a clipped tone and pushed her closer to the metal ladder leading toward the top.

Catra glanced up and laid her ears flat on her head, “It’s… pretty high,” she took a step backward.

The woman put one of her clawed hands on Catra’s shoulder, an iron grip that was cold to the touch and made her skin crawl- like something dripping down her spine or a chilled wind fluttering against the nape of her neck. She clenched her teeth together. “Be grateful,” the woman said in a low tone, “Your lucky a bed opened up at all after your infirmary antics.”

 _Stop touching me, stop touching me,_ **_stop_** _._ The thought blitz’s through her head, she can’t explain it, alarms ringing in her head. She nodded quickly, holding her tongue for once as she waited for the shadowy touch to end.

“Good,” the woman released her, “I expect you to report for duties at 7:30 sharp and to make your bed with four corners tucked in. Your fellow cadets will show you how…”  
  
The woman started rattling off orders and requirements again, this was how had it been all day- after meeting the man with the blood red teeth of course. It been a haze of orders and promises that went in one ear and out the other, right before she went to the medical bay and was almost tossed out again.

The shadow woman must have thought better of it, she took her to this metal room with metal bunks and coppery air that choked out Catra’s lungs.

“Are you listening?” The woman snapped at her and Catra tried to aline her thoughts one by one.

She looked up, jutting her jaw out, “How long am I supposed to stay here?” She asked, twitching her tail back and forth.

The shadow woman scoffed lightly, “You really haven’t been listening. Insolent.”

Catra didn’t know what that meant, but she could feel the sting of the tone. “I had stuff to do-”

“I should show your place before this grows into a real problem. Not even a thank you. Do you know what an honor it is to be chosen? What you’ll receive? Fool.”  
  
Catra glanced down at her feet, she bit her bottom lip. _What you’ll receive,_ Catra hadn’t received a lot in her life.

She looked tentatively up, “You’ll feed me again?”

“Yes,” The Shadow Woman said slowly, “We’ll feed you.” The same cold clawed hand reached out and took her cheeks in between her long fingernails, “As long as you do as I say and there may be potential in you yet.”

Catra wanted to pull back again, bite, yell, cry for someone else- but there was no one to cry for, so she stays in place and hopes for the next meal. The shadow woman stroked her cheek with her thumb and Catra was seconds away from the biting the cold, stinging touch.

“Shadow Weaver!” A voice called and Catra stood up straight, her systems floored, she heard that voice before.

Catra turned swiftly in a circle and her eyes go wide, “Adora.”

It was the girl from before, the one they brought in with her and gave her the extra bread roll at that first meal. She was smiling, Catra’s eyes go wide, smiling at her.

“Adora,” Shadow Weaver, yes that was her name, said. “I was just showing the new cadet her area, you remember her. She would have been oriented with you if she hadn’t collapsed like that.”

Catra had blurry memories of the first few feverish nights under the care of robotic arms, pumping her full of funny smelling liquid through a tube in her arm. It at least drove away the dizziness and ache inside her though.

“Catra!” Adora remembered her name too, she ran up to her. “I was hoping I’d see you again.”

Catra doesn’t know what to say to that, so she just stared ahead- not quiet at her, but just over her right shoulder.

Shadow Weaver hummed, “Adora’s been a perfect example on how to adapt to your new life. You might hope to copy her if you can.”

Catra wasn’t listening, she watched as Adora pointed and vibrated slightly.

“Did Shadow Weaver give you the top bunk? That’s perfect!” Adora cheered.

Catra just nodded back and Shadow Weaver started oozing back out of the room, “I expect you to watch her Adora, you were the one that said she should stay.”  
  
Adora just waved, “Thank you Shadow Weaver.”

Catra lay her ears flat on her head at those words, but Adora was turning back toward her, something glinting in her blue eyes. “You made it!”

Catra looked Adora up and down, “You’ve been here since the comet too.”

Adora raised her eyebrows, “Uh-huh. You remember?”  
  
Catra nodded jerkily, “They give you the speech ‘bout duty and stuff?”  
  
Adora gave another blinding smile, “And then gave us the sweat meat stew?”

Catra started smiling too, “Yeah. And red beans and bread!”

Adora reached for her hand and squeezed it, “I’m glad they fixed you up.”  
  
Catra glanced at the floor, “Yeah. Well. For now.”

Adora pulled on her hand, still holding it, “Come on, I’ll show you how to make your bed and put in ear plugs,” Adora winced, “Rogelio snores.”

Catra’s eyebrows knit together, “You all stay here, together?”  
  
Adora turned toward her, “Yeah, it’s pretty great.”  
  
Catra was still frowning slightly, “Okay…”  
  
Adora pointed, “Come on, up you go.”  
  
Catra paused and her eyes wandered up to the bunk, “It’s… that’s high.” She made sure her voice doesn’t crack as she said it.

Adora lifted an eyebrow, “You afraid of heights?”

Catra took a step back, “No!” She yelled as loudly as she can. “That’s stupid. No. I just… don’t want to fall.”  
  
“But you’re, you know,” Adora put her hands on her head, imitating ears.

“I just don’t like it, ‘k?” Catra would later be quickly cured of her fears of course, Shadow Weaver would make sure of it.

Adora laughed, her voice coming out rich and warm, like a little crackling fire. “Well okay,” she said slowly, “If you want,” she leaned into her, “You can stay on the bottom then. With me.” Adora whispered into her ear, “I hate sleeping alone.”

Catra pursed her lips, “Well I mean… I could. If you’re gonna be a big baby and need someone to sleep here with you.”

Adora shrugged, “Up to you.”  
  
Catra glanced at the end of Adora’s bed, her insides twisted, “Only for a night of course.”  
  
Adora sat down on her bed and patted the place next to her, “Of course.”

She took a seat next to her, testing out the springs in the bed and bouncing up and down for a moment. “Do you think Shadow Weaver will care?”  
  
Adora reached for her hand again and leaned in toward her ear, “We don’t have to tell her.”  
  
Catra just nodded, “for the night.”

They bounced on the bed for a while and shared their top favorite colors. Catra curled up at the end of Adora’s bed once the lights dim. She closed her eyes and tells herself she’ll probably wake up in some dumpster again in the morning- even if it’s warm and snug here.

She tells herself it’s only for the night.  
  
\------------------------

Catra looked up at an empty bent ceiling, a crooked dent in the metal sheet above them. She exhaled slowly, someone shifted next to her, “do you think Princesses eat your eyes out of your head first or do the whole ‘bone munching’ thing first?”

Catra’s right side was warm where Adora lay next to her, fidgeting as they lay side by side, warm and full of sharp right angles. She had been growing since they both hit ten and Catra couldn’t say she liked it.

She turned and gave a sharp grin, “I think they give a blood-curdling scream first,” she propped herself up and raised her hand in the air, hand hovering toward Adora’s neck, “And then they hone onto your throat with their laser eyes-”  
  
“No way,” Adora chuckled and pushed on her shoulder, “you’re gonna fail the strategic test if you write ‘laser eyes’.”

Catra rolled her eyes, “You know I doodled pictures of rats all over the last one, right?”

Adora’s eyes crinkled as she smiled with loud snort, “Yeah. You showed me- during the test.”  
  
“Yep, that went over well,” Catra rolled toward her, brow knitting together, “you don’t have to be grounded here with me you know.”  
  
Adora glanced over, “And who would I talk about Princess laser eyes with?”  
  
Catra shook her head, “Go punch something for me,” she pushed her gently. “Don’t mope in this gross bed with me.”  
  
Adora grabbed her hand as she nudged her, “Hey, this is _my_ gross bed. You do have your own up there though.”  
  
Catra winked, “And get my own bed messy? No way. I’m not going to fail bed inspection-”

“You mean by actually sleeping in it?”  
  
Catra sniffed loudly, “yep, exactly. You’re pretty smart for a dummy.”  
  
Adora propped herself up and stuck her tongue out, “You’re the dummy.” She said with a little finger wag, “Maybe I’ll sleep in your bed tonight.”  
  
Catra’s ears twitched, “You can’t,” her face grows somber and she sits up.

Adora lifted her eyebrows, “Oh yeah,” she sits up with her, “Is that so?”  
  
“Yeah,” Catra leered at her and put her hands up, claws still rectracted. “Or the princesses will get you!” She poked her side, “Right in the gut!”

“Nooo,” Adora squirmed away.

“You won’t have _me_ to protect you,” she wiggled her fingers over her side.

“Don’t tickle me Catra! I’ll kick you,” Adora was giggling and falling backward as Catra honed in, they rumpled the blankets and the springs of the thin mattress groaned under them.

“Too late!” Catra straddled her so she couldn’t get away, “You’re gonna get eaten.”  
  
“Stop,” she tried to push Catra’s hands away, “I give, I give! Princess Kitty-ears, I surrender.”

“Princess Kitty-ears? Now I’m really gonna have to eat you.” She dug ear fingers in more quickly as Adora thrashed around. “No escape.”  
  
“Ah!” Adora gave a short cry and then, with little effort, turned them over, grabbing Catra’s wrists and rolling them to the side to switch their position. Catra struggled for a second but she was never meant for strength and there was nowhere to run.

“Catra,” Adora sat on her, “You’re under arrest for crimes!”

Catra bounced her eyebrows up and down and pushed at Adora’s face, “Wow. I’ve never had a warden with such bad breath.”  
  
Adora glared down at her, “I’m definitely gonna sleep in your bed tonight.”

Catra rolled her eyes with a flourish, “Shadow Weaver probably cursed my bed. It’s your funeral if you wanna sleep there.”  
  
Adora sighed, “You know,” Her voice gets soft and small, gentle, “She shouldn’t have put you up on that ledge after the test thing, she shouldn’t h-”  
  
“Whatever,” Catra looked sharply up to the left, “It doesn’t matter.” She wiggled underneath her. “It’s over now. Will you get off already?”  
  
“Okay, fine, I’ll let you go prisoner.” Adora rolled off her, collapsing next to her on the cott, “But you’ll have to stay and protect me from the princesses still, okay?”  
  
Catra looked back up at the bent ceiling and listened to her own steady heartbeat, she inched closer to Adora. “Duh,” she breathed softly, their sides touching, “You’re the big baby, I won’t let them eat your eyes or whatever.”  
  
The bed shifted and they are lying against each other now, “Sorry you got grounded.”  
  
Catra just shook her head, facing burning, “doesn’t matter.” She took a deep breath in, “it’s not like I was going anywhere anyway.”  
  
Adora rested her head on her shoulder, “Cause you wanna be stuck in bed with me?”  
  
“No, gross.” She doesn’t move though.  
  
Adora turned and her breath tickled Catra’s cheek, she laughed, “I won’t tell anyone.”

Catra curled up on the end of their bed that night and her heartbeat won’t stop pounding in her ears. She doesn’t know why.

\------------------

The first thing she heard was a wet choking sound.

A little snuffling and pained wheezing, followed by a loud sneeze.

Catra wandered in between the bunks, it was lunch break so the barracks were empty again and quiet except the blow of the AC in the corner. Catra took her time leaning against the bed and staring down.

“Gee,” she said loudly, “I wonder where Adora is.”  
  
She stared pointedly as a lump under a green bed sheet, huddled all the way to the back of the bunk and making itself small.

Another sneeze came from the lump, Catra leaned over to poke it.

“Ack,” Adora bunched up, “Go away Catra.”  
  
Catra folded her arms over her chest and groaned, “Shadow Weaver is looking for you.”

Adora gave another pained breath, “Tell her I’ll see her in an hour or… two. Maybe twenty.”  
  
Catra sighed and took a seat at the end of the bed, “Come on.” She tugged at the sheet, “have you been eating? Drinking?”  
  
Adora clutched at the sheet harder, “I’m fine.” She sneezed loudly.

“Ugh,” Catra gave a hard yank at the blanket and tossed it across the room, “That thing has to be so germy.”  
  
A bedraggled bleary Adora appeared, her hair limp and tangled around her face, nose a bright luminescent red and eyes watery and clouded over. She was still in her bed clothes and had a knife by her pillow, her nose was running freely.

Catra delicately wrinkled her nose, “Ew.”  
  
Adora sneezed loudly, “It’s not as bad as it looks.” She wiped at her nose with her sleeve.

Catra set her jaw, “I heard you last night- I thought I’d have to give you CPR at 4am. They’re still asking about you.”  
  
Adora pursed her lips and looked away, “Tell the others I’m on a special mission or something then,” she mumbled, “Just until this is over.”  
  
Catra shook her head and started to crawl toward her, “I’m going to get you some water,” her eyebrow twitched, “And then your going to go take a shower.”  
  
“Nooo,” Adora whined, “I need to stay in bed.”  
  
Catra flicked her in the ear, “And I’m going to change the sheets, dumbass.”  
  
Adora gathered herself close, “I just need a few more hours. I can’t go out there yet.”  
  
Her eyes watered and Catra tucked a loose strand of hair away from her face, “I’ll sneak you there, I’m not an idiot. Don’t worry.”  
  
Adora raised her eyebrows, “To the kitchen?”  
  
Catra nodded numbly, “I’ve done it before, easy.”  
  
“I know,” Adora mumbled, “but… Shadow Weaver is looking for me, right?”  
  
Catra shrugged, “I’ll take the heat if we’re caught- it’s not like she wouldn’t blame me anyway.”  
  
Adora frowned loudly. “I can’t have you-”  
  
“Shut up,” Catra put her arms around Adora’s trembling frame, feeling small and frail for once. She gathered her to her chest, “I’m not going to have you die of the plague in our bed.”  
  
Adora’s eyes went wide, “I’m not that sick.”  
  
“Ugh,” Catra grunted as she put her arms under Adora’s legs and neck, “Just let me do this.”  
  
Adora looked away, her face still fever hot and body smelling sickly sweet with sweat, she closed her eyes. “Just some water.” She mumbled.  
  
Catra held her close and hoisted her up, “it’ll be alright.” She whispered, but she’s not sure Adora heard her. “I’ve got you.”

Catra left their bed and snuck Adora to the kitchens, forcing water and soup into as she watched the door. Adora mumbled about training regiments and falling behind, Catra told her softly it wouldn’t have to be like this again- she promised.

When she curled up at the foot of Adora’s bed that night she covered her with her body this time, not letting the others see the other girls pale face and trembling breaths. Adora mumbled in her sleep and Catra pours water over her forehead and whispered to her about their lives after this was all over.

“You’ll never be sick like this again,” Catra whispered to her, “We’ll make the rules.”  
  
She doesn’t sleep that night.

\----------------------

“Catra!” Adora’s voice came ringing up toward her, “Catra.”  
  
Catra peered down at her from her perch in the rafters, “Catra’s not here.” She sang, “She’s on vacation, call back later.”  
  
Adora audibly tapped her foot on the floor, “You skipped relay training today.”  
  
“Ooh, that was today? Ouch, must have slipped my mind.” She gives a half-moon grin as she swung her legs back and forth.

Adora waved her arms in the air, “Yeah yeah, but you need to come down here,” she said loudly, “I have something to tell you.”  
  
Catra tilted her head to the side, “Is it about you wiping the floor with everyone else in relay training?” She tried to keep the bitter taste out of her mouth as she said it. “Cause, listen, I’ve seen it before.”

Adora made a face from down below, “No, it’s not even remotely about that, come on,” she bounced on her heels and waved, “I’m freaking out right now.”  
  
Catra scrunched her nose up, “Is it that important?”  
  
Adora groaned, “Fine. I’ll just go tell a wall or something, probably get a better response too.”  
  
“Alright, alright,” Catra jumped from one rafter to the other until she reached a support beam and slid her way down. “But this better be pretty good.”  
  
“This way,” Adora grabbed her wrist and started tugging, “We can’t do it here.”

“Where are we-” Adora starts running and Catra was forced to follow.  
  
“It’s weird Catra, WEIRD."

“Why are we-”  
  
Adora pushed them firmly into the barracks and pointed to their bed, “Under the covers.”  
  
“What?” Catra gestured loosely, “Adora, seriously?”  
  
“It’s about Kyle!”

Catra rolled her eyes but lets Adora nudge them onto the bed and cover both their heads in the sheets, leaning in close and staring at each other in the dimness.

“Okay,” Catra looked around in the curtain of fabric, “I’m in this dumb fort, what is it?”  
  
Adora took a deep breath, “You know Kyle?”  
  
“I try not to, but yes,” Catra said slowly.

“You know Rogelio?” Adora’s eyes were wide and she was leaning closer.

Catra leaned away, “Yes, yes, he snores and we throw stuff at them when he’s not looking.”  
  
“No, you do that,” Adora reached forward and grabbed Catra’s shirt front, “And I saw them… _together._ ”

“OKay?” Catra made a face, her mouth open, “Yes, yeah. Are you sick again? They’re together a lot.”  
  
Adora groaned, “no, like, it was like, their mouths!”  
  
Catra hissed lowly, “Gross.”

“I know.”  
  
“And you’re freaking out because you saw Kyle and Rogelio kiss? Adora.” Catra rubbed her temple.

“Yes, that thing.” Adora nodded fastidiously. “Why would they do that?”  
  
Catra hunched her shoulders over, “You’re asking me why people kiss?”  
  
Adora threw her hands up, “It was weird!”

Catra took a deep breath in through her nose, “Sometimes I forget you weren’t just hanging around the Fright Zone streets like me before.”  
  
Adora stuck her bottom lip out, “don’t pull your ‘cool kid street smarts’ on me now.” It was almost a whine.

Catra gave a small, devilish grin, “It’s how people transfer their thoughts to one another.”  
  
“What?”  
  
Catra’s eyes go wide, “Yeah. It’s this whole telepathy thing, you can give people whole memories or even pictures!”

Adora’s mouth fell open, “No way.”  
  
Catra nodded quickly, “Yep, kissing stands for ‘kicking idiots senses-”  
  
“You’re messing with me,” Adora pushed on her shoulder, “ugh, this is what I get for telling you my good secrets.”  
  
Catra snorted loudly, “You didn’t even need to tell me this one.” She stuck her tongue out in distaste, “How would that even feel good? With his cold… funky snout.”

Adora turned to her slowly, “Is it supposed to feel good?”  
  
Catra quickly turned her face away and looked pointedly down at her feet, “How the hell would I know?”  
  
“Oh,” Adora blinked, “You haven’t done it either.”  
  
“Does it look like I want to lock lips with a lizard?”  
  
“Well, I mean,” Adora drew in closer to her, blinking slowly, “it doesn’t have to be a lizard.”  
  
Catra’s heart jumped into her throat and she tries to swallow it back down with a loud gulp, her face warmed up like a burning cigarette butt and her hands curl into themselves. “Haha.”  
  
Adora shifted in the bed, making the whole mattress dip down. “I mean, if even Kyle can do it-”  
  
“It’s not just, you can’t just,” Catra shut herself up as she started to stutter. _Idiot._

“I mean, they looked pretty… interested in it.” Adora was babbling.

“What are you saying?” Catra tore at her own hair.

“Here,” Adora saddled up a little closer, “Just close your eyes, it’ll be over quick.”

Catra bunched her shoulders up toward her ears, “Adora...” She tried to make it a warning, but she trailed off, Adora was closing her eyes. _I should tell her to stop_ , Catra quickly thought, _I should shove her off the bed._

She doesn’t.

A warm mouth presses softly to the side of her lips, a chapped tingling feeling that made her stomach churn and start releasing fluttering moths into her insides. She inhaled deeply, Adora, Adora, _Adora._

 

Her swept back blonde hair and steel blue eyes, the look on her face when she landed a hit, the look of her scrunched nose up as she laughs, the delicate shattering in her eyes when Shadow Weaver knocks Catra to the ground.

Adora.

  
It’s over just as quickly as it began, but to Catra it felt like an entire lifetime, her heart thrumming like a war machine in her chest and a fiery feeling spreading from her lips to her toes.

“Oh,” she said softly, she had kept her eyes open.

Adora blinked a couple times, “Huh.”

A heartbeat passed, Catra swallowing something thick and heavy down. Her thoughts whirling and twitching within her like a storm.

“We don’t have to do that again,” Catra said quickly, trying to tamper down her own pounding pulse and crackling electricity in her veins. Something was moving in her. “Ever again.”  
  
The hurt in Adora’s eyes was bright and solid, like a wall, “Okay. Yeah.” She pushed herself back, “It’s still weird anyway.”  
  
“Yeah…”  
  
They awkwardly fumble for a moment, trying to wriggle out of the sheet after that, their rendezvous forgotten. “Want to race to the dinner hall?” Adora offered and Catra shrugged.

“If you want to lose, sure.” They sprint off, a little faster than necessary.

When Catra curled up to sleep at the foot of Adora’s bed she saw Adora and only Adora, she kept tasting the dry warmth of skin against skin, against her. She kept her eyes open.

\---------------------------

Catra rolled over in bed, stretching her arms up toward the ceiling and exhaling. There was a dent in the bed above her, it’s a long stretch of inverted metal that she memorized the arch of. The sound of steady breathing surrounded her and shadows gathered in the corners and fill the room, she squeezed her eyes shut.

Something thrums within her and she peels her eyes back open quickling, spreading her limbs out in all directions.

“Ah, perfect,” she muttered to herself loudly, forcefully. Her insides squirm and she locked her jaw, “Fuck,” She cursed instead and then pushed the other words all the way down.

Her chest was hollow. A cave concaving in and there’s a roaring in her ears that doesn’t cease. “Perfect.” She dug her nails into the side of her arm, clawing for blood or pain or something else.

Catra rolled over, hands feeling sightlessly out in front of her to the other side of the bed, it’s cool to the touch and the sheets are flat and lifeless. She bawled her fists up in the fabric and lets the hot sting fill her eyes.

It was empty, it was all empty.

Catra goes to sleep in the rafters of the training room after that.


End file.
